Thursday, 2 May 2013

May Day 2013

May Day 2013, was a much anticipated date for me last year. I imagined that I would be heavily pregnant and getting ready to meet my first baby.
Of course, that was not the day I found myself facing.

May Day is a big party in Oxford. People stay up all night, the morning sees the cafes opening for breakfast at 6am, Morris Men dance, samba bands play in the streets, and my Beloved fronts a rather mad, raggle-taggle bunch of musicians on the steps of the Bod library. We all dress up in green and dance and celebrate.

As I'm sure you can imagine - especially if you have ever gone through what me and my partner have this year - I did not feel much like celebrating.

When I woke up that morning, (at 4am) I half intended to stay in bed. But the sky gradually turned a deep, clear blue, the birds began to sing and I could sense the atmosphere outside.

This is the scene that greeted me in the street outside my flat:   


Encouraged, I cycled into town.. 

Here are my friends, all playing happy tunes to a crowd of Oxfordites - some of whom were a little worse for wear after an all-nighter fuelled by drink etc...I bumped into a lovely old friend of mine who I haven't seen in ages, and we snuck off for a sneaky fry-up.

Later, me and my beloved went out onto Port Meadow. It was warm! Spring is really here.

And that was my last May Day in Oxford.

I've lived in the city for eight years (with a 6 month gap living in London - urgh! And a Summer spent living in Canada - wow!) but at the end of this month we are moving away to Devon.
I'm very, very excited...It feel very right to start a new chapter this Spring, and hope for better, more beautiful times to come.

And finally, I have been working on a couple of new, special drawings over the last week. Here is a sneaky, partial look...More soon.


  1. I know those feelings so well: what should have been, how what is seems so empty and wrong.... It does get gentler, easier with time, I promise.

    1. It is the saddest, most surreal thing the way it all just vanishes.
      Thank you for your support, I look forward to the sunnier days xxx

  2. I remember one of the biggest shocks for me was how life kept going on, people kept acting normal all around me, when my world had fallen apart... But I would second Grace's Mom, it softens with time.

    That looks like a very cool celebration though, even if you were only able to observe from the sidelines. I lived in devon for a year. Whereabouts will you be going?

    1. I've been feeling well, considering, but I still couldn't quite participate...It is so odd, remembering how for others nothing has changed! and wondering how many people in those crowds have had their worlds fall apart...

      We are going to Chagford:) SO excited!

  3. I've never heard of May Day but it sounds like a fun thing, as long as you aren't missing someone and what could have been. I know those days, those events too. They suck. It does get easier with time.

    1. You guys don't seem to do May Day in Canada :)

      It does suck...Now I just need to get through her due date and Christmas...

      Thank you xxx

  4. I'm so sorry for your loss <3
    Your work is beautiful.

    1. Thank you so much...on both counts.

      Here's to more work and happier days xx