Wednesday, 23 January 2013

In bits...

Just after I was able to leave hospital, I went home to Cornwall for a bit.

Whilst there I played with some clay, and made a little person. I was copying my little sister, who has been making amazing tiny clay puppets for her art foundation.

My mum, who is an art therapist amongst other things, asked if it was a therapy thing...I said no at the time, but look at it now I'm not so sure.

Here is the lady in bits...

And here she is once I had assembled her.

Shaping the clay was both incredibly soothing and deeply sad. I couldn't help but draw parallels between my thwarted attempt to grow a living child, and the symbolic potential of creating a doll. I'm probably over-thinking it...
A few times I wanted to stop and make the clay formless again. But I kept going, letting it dry, threading the body parts onto wires and decorating the joins with beads.


  1. I made hats...little hats for little people. Therapy is a fancy word for something that I think is just a deeply instinctual need, especially for creative people. I'm an 'over-thinker' too...but sometimes it helps sort out the tangles in my mind. Make with my hands, think with my mind...and it will all help somehow.

    Take care

  2. Nomi, lovely Nomi,
    I know there's nothing I can say to soothe you, I just want you to know that I am thinking of you. I am moved that you have shared your story and thank you whole heartedly for that. You are brave and beautiful.
    My heart tilts towards you,
    Lucy x x

  3. Hey sweet Lucy,

    Thank you lovely. Joy finds a way to weave through the grief, grief weaves through joy...We can't run and we can't hide. There's nothing to be but brave.

    I hope you are making such scrummy little books, and that life is treating you gently xxx

  4. I wrote lost babies names out of magnets and in the snow. I still do when I get requests. I will do it for Lyra in the next week or so. I also donate a box to the hospital every year on Jacob's birthday for another babyloss family to receive. My most of all, I wrote on Jacob's blog and got all my feelings out. I'm glad you have art. It really helps.

    1. Thank you for saying you will write out Lyra's name...

      What sort of things do you put in the box? I'd like to do some sort of donation in honour of Lyra too.

      I'm wondering about starting a blog about losing my baby...I keep a diary but I wonder if writing something public would be helpful too. I know that reading your blog has helped me feel less alone, it is really comforting...